Onions and Other Easy Vegetables
My husband adores onions. Occasionally he eats raw onions like an apple just to freak me out for fun. He believes that the addition of onions and bacon to any dish instantly improves it. I don’t know about that bacon part, but I’m on board with onions.
According to the Huffington Post, eating onions on a regular basis decreases risk for heart disease and cancer. Onions increase enzymes that remove toxins from blood cells and make blood cells resistant to DNA damage. And who doesn’t want badass, toxin-free, damage-resistant blood cells?
These two mostly uncomplicated recipes that pair onions with other vegetables. Of course, I am a slapdash and haphazard fastidious and meticulous cook, so my instructions mirror that careless effortless manner.
1 green pepper
1 orange pepper
1 red pepper
1 yellow squash
1. Coerce your minion persuade a friend to slice the onion.
2. Slice remaining vegetables.
3. Take photos of pretty, multi-colored veggies for your blog.
4. Place onions in skillet with some olive oil on a setting slightly above medium.
5. Cook and stir onions every once in a while until they look like this:
This meaning starting to turn translucent with some brownish bits. I know you appreciate the detailed technicality of these instructions.
6. Add yellow squash, stir a couple times, and cook until it softens up and develops brownish parts. Start adding peppers, realize you didn’t take a photo of the squash, remove most of the peppers and take this photo:
7. Add all the peppers. Make sure to stir so all vegetables spend some time at the bottom of the pan. Add olive oil as needed. Ex: when the bottom of the pan turns black and the veggies must be scraped off.
8. Remove from heat and serve when all vegetables are no longer crunchy and crisp, but tender and slightly soft.
The Midnight Bedroom Bomb Green Beans, Bacon & Onions
1 package bacon
1 gallon can of green beans
You read that correctly. 1 gallon. Judging from the ingredient list alone, you can guess who created this monstrosity recipe. Hint: Cooking for my husband resembles cooking for a relentlessly grazing, bottomless locust cloud.
1. Slice bacon and cook until almost burned because you turned around to wash some dishes and forgot you were cooking dinner. This will enhance the smoky flavor of the dish.
2. Drool over the delicious aroma of the bacon and conduct an elaborate photo shoot.
3. Bully your kitchen slave encourage a buddy into dicing the onion and draining the bacon grease.
4. Dump all ingredients into a large pot and stir together.
5. On medium-high heat, bring to a boil. Boil for about 5 minutes.
6. Eat until your abdomen distends.
7. At bedtime, tenderly invite your lover to spoon you from behind. Laugh maniacally at the results.
Love Onions? Despise them? Does the mere whiff of raw, sliced onions make you want to wrench your eyes from your head? That’s how I feel. Do these recipes sound delicious? Disgusting?