Weekend Warrior

FIRE!
sebastien.barre via Flickr

This post was supposed to feature a thrilling photo montage depicting my husband and I conquering the Warrior Dash. The dash was concocted when some masochist  smart-ass person decided that just running a race was too stinkin’ easy. So they added obstacles. Like tires and cargo nets and venomous snake pits mud pits with barbed wire and FIRE! I hear the fire’s only three inches tall, but it’s still FIRE!

However, notice the phrase “supposed to.” We made lovely plans to stagger painfully jog a 5k sprinkled with getting tetanus scaling wreaked cars and tumbling off twirling along tightropes, when forecasted “hail” and “high damaging winds” made some wussy Warrior Dash employee worried about “safety.” Our wave, originally scheduled for 1pm, moved to 10am. Per Murphy’s Law, I already taught Zumba at 10. Adios, Warrior Dash. Hello, cash refund.

Even considering the insanity of the obstacles and my lack of training—I don’t think avoiding running for two months and hardly ever completing half-ass pull-up exercises counts as training—I still felt disappointed we couldn’t run.

Could have been me
I Run Flint via Flickr

Guess we will have to wait until next year. Or maybe a different race on steroids for psychotic masochists fitness enthusiasts will come to Kansas City soon. (Laughs maniacally.)

What do you think of this new type of race? Ever tried one or know someone who has? Know of one coming to KC this summer?

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6 Comments on “Weekend Warrior

  1. Like a great musician using the silence between notes or the masterful artist defining objects by carefully crafting the space around them you have wonderfully written an entertaining piece about an event that did not take place. Thank you!

  2. The writing is unmistakeable but I am hoping this is the blog of Kiya Richter Krier. Somewhere on this page should have the person I need to sue over any libel issues.

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