To My Devoted Followers:
Welcome, my thousands of faithful readers, waiting with bated breath to read the first piece of fitness knowledge to drop from my gifted fingers. Wait, you say? There’s no one out there reading, you say? Oh that’s right. This is my first post, and I have absolutely no followers. Dangitall.
Well, I suppose not having listeners never stopped me from talking before…
This is “Runs with Blisters,” where I, Kiya Krier, will enlighten the masses on the topics of fitness, nutrition and healthy lifestyles. I’ll tell you all the secrets and hints and spells to make you skinny or ripped or drop those eighty pounds NOW. Yesterday, actually. And keep them off indefinitely. With no maintenance.
Wait a second. That’s not possible. Way to bust my readers’ bubble there, reality. Turns out you have to eat healthy—gross!—and work out—oww!— to get skinny or ripped or drop those eighty pounds. Lame.
That’s hard, and it hurts, and I’m going to complain about it. A lot; about once a week, actually. So drop in every seven days to absorb my new wonderfully whiney and obtuse informative and insightful post.